


To Find You

by nandonman



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Bisexual MC, Colemance, F/M, Family Death, Human Cole (Dragon Age), Mage OC - Freeform, Sibling bond, Slow Burn, Spirit Cole (Dragon Age), Spirit Cole turns more human
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nandonman/pseuds/nandonman
Summary: Jonna Gladlock has worked for years to be able to buy herself lyrium so she can travel to the Fade. On her 20th birthday, she reaches that goal.(ORthe one where an angry apostate traverses the Fade to find her dead brother)
Relationships: Cole/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Prolouge - 20 Years

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for how shit I am at writing lmao  
> This is unbetad but I still hope you enjoy!

Jonna inhaled the crisp air of the village as she stepped towards her modest home. In her hands she held a vial wrapped in silks, a present she had, for years, saved to get. The soft material felt strange to her still, even after carrying it with her for two days. The closest place to buy such a precious material was Lothering, and she was unfamiliar with the feel of silk.

Four days prior Jonna locked her door and began her journey north, and now as she walked back through the faded pathways of her village, she recalled the silence of night on the edge of civilization. No one welcomed her back as it was nearly midnight, and all business had stopped long ago to make way for rest. And so Jonna’s footsteps were the sole sound amongst the nightlife of birds and insects. When she reached her home, she took a moment to observe the stonework left of the wooden door. It was a project of hers, putting her little house together, and she worried for its stability after the morning rain, but it was fine.

Jonna’s gaze shifted and she made her way inside. She placed her boots at the door and removed her leather coat, moving to the fireplace to warm the chilled interior of her home.  
After a fire had been lit, she carefully placed the silk package inside her nightstand before traveling to the pail of water she had stored in the corner of her room. It was cold when she removed the seal and placed her hand inside, but that was to be expected after leaving for so long.

When she had warmed a pot on the fire, Jonna took a washcloth and let it lay inside the pail as she undressed. After traveling through forest and rain, she was more than a little grotesque. Her hair was, as usual, pulled back into several tight braids--some small and others wide--left free to fall at her back. Indeed, she had the appearance of a true warrior, and her snow white hair was muddied with dirt and sweat. Cleaning it proved quite the challenge.

Minutes passed, and Jonna was moving on to supper. It was late, but it wasn’t midnight yet. With a focused stare, Jonna took the bread cake from her satchel and laid it out on the table beside a small, wilted bouquet. Her friends often teased her for her intensity, saying “Jonna doesn’t have magic. She just stares at things until they catch fire.” Of course, the notion was ridiculous, but considering the nature of a mage, she supposed it wasn’t too far from the truth.

After lighting a small candle, Jonna retrieved the gift from her nightstand and settled into a creaky wooden chair.

She closed her eyes.  
20 years she’s lived, and all have been spent in the same little region between The Hinterlands and Lothering. What a dull life she’s lived.

Opening her eyes, Jonna took a deep breath and blew out the candle before her, until all that was left was the soft glow of the fire in the back wall. She began to pick at her cake, but her thoughts began to drift forward to her plans for the night. She pictured what it would be like for the people who would wake up at dawn--her family, her friends. It would be like any other day for them. But Jonna did not know if she would join them. Afterall, it was not only a question of how time passed where she planned to go, but also if she would survive the trip. Jonna had already ensured that those who cared enough were convinced she would still be in Lothering for the next three days. Hopefully, that would be enough time to do what she had to do.

A smile graced her lips as she realized what this meant. For the past three years, she’d saved for this. Lyrium was difficult to come by for any poor sod, especially one living in the middle of nowhere. It felt . . . well, exhilarating.

Indeed, her excitement was strong in that she didn’t sleep for many hours, instead lying in bed next to an empty silk cloth and gazing up at the meshed ceiling. It was only after the sun had begun to appear again that she finally descended into rest, and her journey into the Fade began.


	2. A Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonna 'Bisexual Broad Shoulders' bully woman

Jonna awoke to the sound of many voices all around her, loud and unabashed, reaching over one another and clapping together in a harsh discord. Wearily, she sat up straight against the wooden rail she rested against. She blinked open her eyes and had to adjust to the blinding light they met.

She was at sea, she realized. The creaking floor beneath her swayed ever so slightly with the waves beneath them, and those very waves she saw when she glanced over her shoulder and past the rest of the large vessel below them. It was a clear day with only a few clouds dotting the horizon. That would explain the heat that bore down heavily on her, as well as the topic of many of those grisly voices barring against her ears.

“Bloody sun doesn’t shut out behind some cloud, I’m stealing your ale and taking a little bath.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I think I just about would.”

“If I let you.”

Jonna groaned and rubbed at her temples with her index fingers.

Suddenly, a much softer voice spoke from beside her--familiar and warm.

“You’re not enjoying the rabble? I thought the past few days were going swimmingly.”

Jonna glanced beside her and locked eyes with the woman to her right. She was young--19, with dark skin and darker hair. Seldom.

“Seldom? What are you doing here? What am I doing here?”

Seldom blinked before smiling mercifully and rubbing Jonna’s broad shoulder.

“Alright, love. I think that heat’s starting to get to you.”

Jonna didn’t know what she meant, but the warmth of her hand was unexpectedly comforting. ‘Love,’ she’d said. What did that mean?

“No, really,” Jonna pushed, looking about her once more. “Where are we going?”

Seldom took a breath and wrapped her arm around Jonna, gazing at her lovingly before shifting her focus to nothing in particular outside of the sky above them.

“We’ve been travelling for just over a week, headed to a better place. Don’t you remember dragging me on here with you?”

Jonna furrowed her brows and focused on the dry wood beneath them. It did sound familiar. Hadn’t she always wanted to get away from Lockestead?

She closed her eyes then and took a breath. She envisioned sitting in her home, lighting a candle for her 20th birthday, and then . . . Morning. The lyrium hadn’t worked. She had spent the next few days doing simple tasks to keep her mind away from her failure, when Seldom approached her with a fresh bouquet. “Sorry for leaving you waiting so long,” she’d said. And all had been fine. In fact, things continued to be fine for many years, until they’d had enough money to get away from lumber and stones. That’s when they’d boarded the ship to the East, somewhere outside of even Thedas itself.

Jonna blinked, then turned back to her partner and smiled.

“Yeah, sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” Seldom replied with a smirk. “It’s definitely on you if you lose your wits.”

Jonna narrowed her eyes and shoved Seldom’s arm away from behind her neck, trying not to think about how much she already missed the smell of sweat and perfume.

“Are you saying it’s my fault if I get a concussion or something? What if I’m fighting for our lives, protecting you from evil forces?”

Seldom hummed softly to herself. “Now that would be romantic.”

Jonna smiled.

The wind blew lightly towards the west, carrying with it the smell of salt water and body odor. It was a contradiction of the senses, parallel to the coolness of the breeze on a warm summer day. Eventually, however, they could no longer stand the heat without assistance and made their way to the nearest guard to ask for water.

“Not until supper. Sorry, ladies. We only have so much to spare.”

Jonna wasn’t surprised, but she figured a little persuasion might help. She stepped forward with her right foot and crossed her arms, staring down the man in front of her. He may have been taller, but the intensity of her gaze was not without weight.

“I have a feeling sparing a little would save you future . . . trouble.”

Jonna heard Seldom’s sigh behind her but disregarded it as the guard made his choice. With a muttered curse, he disappeared below deck before reemerging through the crowd with a small canister.

“Don’t tell anyone about this. If you don’t have my head, then the captain will.”

Jonna nodded--as respectfully as could be, considering the circumstances

“Right. We’ll just be going then,” Seldom cut in, already dragging Jonna away.

The latter knew what was coming but braced herself anyway. Seldom lead them away from the crowd, under the small overhang of the steering deck’s railing. Jonna had to duck slightly, but Seldom stood tall with a disapproving frown.

“You can’t keep bullying everyone like that, you know.”

“I know?”

Seldom only frowned deeper at her ‘wit.’

“You should by now. Or have you learned nothing from the caravan?”

The caravan. Another flood of memories came to Jonna, distinct and yet hazy, rushing towards her like a bag over her head.

“Of course I have,” she spoke tentatively. “I never meant to scare them off like that . . .”

“And yet you did.”

A moment of silence descended on them, until Seldom sighed once again.

“Look, I don’t want it to get between us. I guess I’m just a little worn out from the heat. I’m sorry, if I offended you.”

Jonna blinked.

“No, it’s . . . it’s fine.”

Seldom smiled at her, a warm sight, made even sweeter by the embrace that followed. But something was not quite right.  
Closing her eyes, Jonna thought back to her memory of the caravan. There had been a family of four--two daughters, a mother, a father . . . No, a daughter and a son. Looking back, Jonna could picture them perfectly, if it weren’t for their faces. Instead of eyes and a nose, they were . . . empty. The same with many of her memories of the past few years, she realized. Leading Seldom onto the boat, buying supplies from the harbor, the years of working, the flowers Seldom bought. . .  
The flowers.

Abruptly, Jonna pulled away.

“What’s wrong, love?” Seldom furrowed her brows, obviously worried, but Jonna didn’t care.  
She wasn’t Seldom.

Seldom had never returned to replace the wilted flowers. She had left the village, and run off with some other woman from Denerim. She hadn’t even said goodbye.

Jonna stepped out from under the railing as the sky above them began to darken.

“Jonna? Was I too harsh?”

Jonna didn’t reply. She only turned to search the deck, hoping that on some off chance, there’d be a staff.

She almost missed the silence that had descended on the ship. The loud clutter from earlier was gone, replaced by hushed whispers and stolen looks. The scarce clouds from before were now multiplying and drawing closer towards them, darkening with every step she took.

“I didn’t fail that night,” Jonna spoke, quite louder than she thought herself brave enough to.

“What are you talking about, love? Come on. We should get below decks. It looks like it’s going to storm.”

“Oh, don’t worry, love,” Jonna sneered. “A storm is nothing compared to a demon.”

At that, everything stopped. And then a shift.

Within moments, the dozens of people packed around her faded to dust and were swept away by the wind, the rushing wind that became harsher with every passing moment. Jonna knew there was no chance for a weapon here, but something inside told her to stand her ground.

“You will die, demon.”

She took a breath then spread her hands before her, fingers forming a triangle as flame began to surface in the space between them.  
With a cry, she released the flame, and it hit with full force, temporarily obscuring her vision. When the smoke cleared, however, it was no longer Seldom.  
A monstrous form towered over her, swiping at the flames against its shoulders as if clearing off dust.

“You were a fool to come here, human.”

“I’m starting to think that too,” she mumbled.

Inside, she searched desperately for an answer. How could she defeat this demon, unarmed? Should she try to outwit it? Could she flee? Her thoughts raced, and around her, the air grew tighter and damp. Wetness sprayed against her, and it was unclear if it were rain or waves lapping dangerously high against the vessel.

Either way, it was a nightmare to be sure. No way out without a risk.

Jonna bit her lip as the demon began its proposal. A safe return, maybe even a chance to speak to her brother before she left. Only if she just let herself act as an inn for the demon. A week’s stay should do it. A month at most. But Jonna was not interested in deals.

In all the time Seldom had known her, she had made one thing very clear. She was always a bit headstrong.

And so without a moment's more hesitation, Jonna turned to face the demon and gestured to the waves. “That’s very tempting, but I’ve to see to a ghost.”

Then she turned on her heel and rushed towards the edge of the boat. In one swift movement, she threw herself over the edge and pushed, closing her eyes as salt water enveloped her.

She wished to the Maker she would wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter introduces Cole. And also possibly Lars. Or a demon. Or both!


End file.
